Great! I am Deleted and Blocked by him on MSN.

What the crap! For the entire week, I didn't see him online and I thought maybe he was too busy with all the events and stuffs. Till Thursday night, I checked he logged into Friendster so I assumed he is online. I can't see his online status and again I am so naive to believe he is too tired.

Today, I just casually comment to my sister about this fact and guess what? She told me I may be blocked by him. This weird idea has never come across me because I believe I did not offend or do anything wrong to him. Nvm, she taught me a simple test how to check someone blocks me. I tried with my online frenz and realised that he, the jerk indeed deleted and blocked me.

I was like so stunned and puzzled. Then feel so angry and wanted to cry. Not because that I am so in love with him, actually I am over him but I am hurt by his action. I mean he doesn't even treat and respect me as a friend? I sat beside him for like 7 weeks and we did talk and laughed together. ALthough I didn't approach him on MSN but neither did he. I just feel that why must he do that? No apparent reason? What the heck!

Such action also reveals his feelings towards me. I suspect that he thinks I am so not interested in him but just playing with him all along. Therefore the entire week, he kept ignoring me with his cold treatment. The fact is initially I was playing along with him but eventually I fell for him. LinG said I don't look like interested but I am always trying to hide my emotions - I am shy, insecure, unconfident+++ believe it or not?

I came out with two possible reasons: 1st - he really hates me to the core which I have no idea why, 2nd - he finds me a nuisance on MSN becOs I added him but we never talk online. Now I am very sure that I am not sensitive about his reactions towards me. Okie are we playing mind games? I hope not cOs I haven make my confession to him yet so I am not losing it all. He, instead has lost partially by removing me from MSN. This also shows how immature this guy is. Definitely not a gentleman!

I sincerely believed that he used to like me because the feelings and my heart can never be wrong. I am disappointed but yet grateful that I met him because I tried and learnt alot from this encounter. He took me to a haunted house, I held onto his arm and he showed me the other side of him. All these incidents are my valuable first times. To him, I may be like the 20++ girls in his life but to me, he is the first guy. Thats enough and I am contented. I realised what I wanted, he is not my cup of tea and opposite do attracts. However attraction does not last long Unless both ends willing to compromise.

On this note, I would like to end off by hoping this coming Monday will be a new start for me. I hope God don't arrange another fast and furious crush for me. My heart really can't take it anymore.... hahaz.