I am a Cusp - Taurus/Gemini - Stubborn with Split Personality

From the day I learnt about horoscopes, I have assumed myself being a 100% Taurean with no doubt of any signs of Gemini. It was till recently I chanced upon a website by ivillage which presented the information of cusps. I am born on 19th May, just 2 days away from falling into the star sign - Gemini. However, a cusp possesses the energy of the two signs so I am not a typical Taurean.

A Taurean is satisfied with routine life and never like changes. I am different, I can't stand doing the same things for a long time and always try to explore new adventures. Sometimes I appeared to be nice and friendly, on the other times, I am just plain mean and irritating to people. Ironically, what Pat said about XH being a mixture of Sagittarus & Capricorn (Cusp) is now applicable to me being a mixture of Taurus & Gemini (Cusp). Cusps are the worst signs because they do not have a distinct nature and no true identity.

Wednesday 15/03/06
The two attachment gals came into the office this week. Initially XH was pretty reluctant to approach them but when I told him the gals thought of us being a love relationship, he was frustrated. He kept asking me what should he do to change the situation. I replied calmly that there is nothing he can do. He did the most unexpected thing. He went to talk to the new gals voluntary and explained his situation and us as a pure friendship.

It is a true explanation but somehow I was disappointed because I always thought our relationship is something more than friendship. That particular day, I ignored him and decided not to follow him to Kembangan MRT though he had reminded me to follow him the day before. I deliberately went up to him and said, "Can I don't follow you to Kembangan MRT today?" He just replied casually, "Sure, I am fine going myself."

Then on the bus journey, he did not bother about me. He just keep talking to the new attachment gal. I was slient for quite some time before I decided to ask him again, "Do you need me to follow you to Kembangan MRT?" He looked pretty irritated and replied, "No need." The second time I tried to ask the same question, this time his response was even more agitated than the previous one, "Do you think I am a baby? I don't need anyone to follow me!" I was taken aback as he was practically shouting and the bus passengers were looking at us. Finally before reaching my stop, I made my final request of accompanying him and he said straight in my face that now it is me who wants to stick to him. I agreed without hesitant but he refused my request so I alighted.

Thursday 16/03/06
Results were out at Wed's midnight. I achieved all Bs, was pretty happy but slightly disappointed because I have not managed to get As. Anyway I msged XH on the release of results. No reply. Today XH did not come to work and one of the attachment gal seemed pretty interested in him. She asked me if I felt different w/o XH in the office, if XH plays mahjong and more on his personal life... I can sense that she has an interest for XH.

I thought XH may be angry with me so he decided not to come and fortunately he came ard 2.30pm - half day? Haha... what a funny guy! He came into the office with a crumpled shirt and looked disgustingly informal. He was his usual self towards me - bubbly, lively and talkative. Out of sudden, he typed a msg on his hp and showed me regarding his foreigning of sickness, not to tell anyone.

I took his hp and tell him that he should have taken a full day leave instead and took this chance to apologise to him. When he saw the msg, he gave me a fake shock look but took my apology anyway =) It was a sweet moment esp. when I next tried to msg him that one of the attachment gal seemed to be attracted to him and sent that msg to his friend Ash accidentally. I told him so and he smiled in a pleasant way w/o blaming me. I also saw the results I sent to him still available in his hp.

Surprisingly, we became a close pair again. The two gals and I were helping out with the lanyards in the room and XH came in to ask me to accompany him to buy drinks. We asked the gals what they want to drink then when I was about to go off with XH, the interested attachment gal asked me in puzzled tone, "You are also going too?" I felt it was a weird question somehow.

When XH and me were buying drinks, he told me he will not like people easily and even if the gal is Miss Singapore, he won't like her? Perhaps he is hinting to me that he does not fancy the attachment gal. By the way, XH does not go for looks when liking a gal and he definitely has a fetish for gals who wear pants than skirts. No wonder, twice I was commented unsuitable when I wear skirts by XH =P

P.S. XH asked me if I have forgotten to bring my hp today and I already knew he msged me sth. True enough, when I got back my repaired hp, XH sent me two msgs in the morning but I can't reply.

Friday 17/03/06
Yesterday was pretty easy day at office because I was in-charge to complete lanyards in the room all day long. XH joined the production with us not long after. He sat beside me and kept complaining about this boring job. Then the gals started to ask XH on has he had any gfs before and strangely XH looked at me for answer? He actually kicked me under the table for my help! In the end, I told the gals, he never had a gf but liked gals before. XH managed to talk to the gals pretty well and they like his company.

During lunch break, I told them - the 2 gals + XH to go for break together so that I and mr Virgo will go together instead. XH suggested that I and him go together for lunch first then the 2 gals and Mr Virgo. LoLz. What a twist of situation!

I told XH I will be meeting a online friend for movie after work, he was taken aback and commented that online pple are desperate, nerdy, weird and pervertic. He displayed a very negative attitude regarding this matter. When we were in office, we touched on online issue again so I told him casually I met alot online friends before and the worst took me to Mt. Faber. I re-enact the whole scene on XH, clasping one of his hands to demostrate the intensity of the situation. He looked fine with my acting but somehow I feel that there is awkwardness present in him.

We went back to the room to do the lanyard production, he asked about my date again and commented alot of absurd things on the guy infront of the two gals. I did not defend myself and the interested gal actually come into my defence. That is how bad XH has put my online friend into. My online friend msged me, XH saw and tried to peep at what is written. It was funny because this shows that he is curious and wants to know. I told him I will not be following him back hom and he said I could have taken MRT to Kovan with him as it is faster. Infact, it is a longer journey.

In the room, XH always try to show that he knows me well if not I know better. Small talks like, "See Serene, I know you so well", and gestures like suddenly asking me for my hp so that he can listen to Fort Minor - Believe Me, can buffle the 2 gals on our relationship.

These days I am seriously wondering if I am over-reacting to things or XH is gruadually losing himself in this relationship with me. Yes, I know XH finds me a good company so he tends to 'cling' to me but it became a habit so much that he ain't used to go alone even with others. Is XH the one for me? I like him alot but I, too have begin to doubt myself and this 'friendship' of ours.