This is How Our Story Ends...

On Thursday 02/02/06, I was frustrated with his constanly-changing MSN nicks so I decided to forward him a cute msg at 2.30pm. Amazingly, immediately after the sent msg, I felt alot more at ease with myself. I did not expect him to reply in any way since it is just a forward msg. However, he surprised me with his "hey i m sorrie, left hp at home. hows r u?" so I gave him a direct answer - Haha. You are so cute. forward msg do not need to reply. After that I felt so silly and dumb, the worst: guilty for that meaningless remark.

He did not come online the whole night and my guilt grew as time goes by. I cannot take it. In the end, I msged him - hMmz... I think I was quite abrupt with my reply just now as I am still stuck in school. Hope you have a good week. Anyway good night =)

Unbelievably, within 10 mins after the msg sent, he appeared online-away mode and that is 12.10am. I did not msg him because I felt uncomfortable, however I was working on my project report till 2am he was still online-away mode. I woke up @ 7.30am and he remained in the same status. I was puzzled. Then I went offline around 8.45am and an interesting sudden thought came to me: Will he follow suit since I go offline already?

Too much coincidences, after 10 mins of my disappearance, he is offline too. I was too shocked so I appeared online again. Guess what? He, too appeared online-online mode as me. The 1st thing he came online was to msg me! Seriously, I felt that he had everything prepared and planned. The short conversation was a happy and cheerful one. He offered to explain to me his Thursday night was spent @ MU but came back home early as he was high.

On Satursday 04/02/06, he was not online the whole day. I was too stressed out so I and sister went to Cineleisure to eat Cafe Cartel and then to Club Momo.

On Sunday 05/02/06, his MSN nick changed to: ...... Loves February 4th and that is Saturday. I felt that something good has happened to him. I was curious. I asked him. The biggest possibiltiy I have thought of: Met a cute gal. In the end, he told me that he loves Saturdays. That was total anti-climax and I felt so cheated. I asked him what have he done and he said he went out with a friend at Orchard- Taka. My immediate feeling is he might have seen me and sister at Orchard if we are connected by hearts. I wanted to pursue this issue but he avoided twice - went to shower and wanted to take a nap.

On Monday 06/02/06, he did not come online at all. I was totally disgusted because I always thought I am in control of the situation. However, from what I observed, I know I am losing it and no longer knows what he is actually up to.

On Tuesday 07/02/06, which is today, he did not come online either at his usual timing period - 8.30pm to 11pm. I was away to TV between 10pm - 12am. When I came back, as usual he was offline BUT his nick changed again: --Keep Out-- Now this showed that he was online before that and a strong negative connation accompanied his current nick. It seemed to hint to me that I should not invade his privacy or life anymore?

Haha... I love my literature days in JC. Analyse and more analysis to understand the writer's current state of emotion. Maybe I am really not supposed to touch this guy because his main purpose or rather impact on me has been completed. Somehow I feel that the distance between us are bigger and the ambiguous feeling is fading... Fate determines it all. I strongly believe in it.