Weird Weather, Weird People

It's surprising that everytime I wanna give up on XH something positive will crop up. These few days I am suffering from my usual PMS moodiness.

Lunch. We went down and saw it's raining. We returned to office in search of umbrellas. I found mine, he can't find any available ones. In the end, we shared ONE small foldable umbrella. He suggested to go the nearest coffee shop but somehow he changed his mind to the further outlet. I was taken aback because I didn't expect him to suggest such an option. He was unsure if he had spoken the right thing so he changed back to his original stand. I told him I have nothing to eat at the nearest coffee shop so maybe we can try the further one. He was happy.

The best part of this episode - When we struggled to reach the coffee shop, the rain stopped abruptly. The sun came out. Back at the office, the others have already prepared umbrellas which we can't find initially. I feel that everything seemed like pre-planned.

Throughout the journey, we kept brushing against one another and our proximity is so close that we can almost kiss each other on the cheek. I know he felt pretty uneasy but I was indifferent to the situation as I don't feel the intensity between us. It wasn't as romantic as I thought it would be walking in the rain.

No matter how hard I tried to ignore, avoid and dislike him, eventually we will still be back in a circle. I hate the weather. I hate his indecisiveness. I hate my complication.