I met a Guy.

Well it has been quite a time when I begin to feel my heart beating again - alive as a person? For some, crushes are always there but me, it's hard to say. I seldom have crushes cOs I sincerely believe things will never work out for me and the other party. That's how insecure and unconfident I am.

I am a typical Taurean who finds comfort in money and materialistic items. So practical and realistic that sometimes I hate the way I am. However, I have long exchange love for money, career and success. Up till today, I may feel sense of remorse but Never regret because life goes on whether you have love or not. Perhaps love just makes life sweeter and exciting.

When I was first attached to this particular department, he has already caught my eyes. Honestly, he wasn't eye-catching or good looking but as there is a limited number of guys around, he was the best. So coincidently, he was posted to the same sub-group as me. He appeared to be unfriendly to me and I didn't care more. It was due to the project so we have to start interacting then my impression of him becomes better. I realised he wasn't that cold after all and he was popular with girls and I mean Damn Popular - Always hanging out with girl friends. I was slightly jealous because an all-girls guy is always charming. However, I pushed away the thought because I feel that it is impossible for him and me.

I have watched tons of dramas regardless English/Chinese/Japanese/Korean and they have always emphasized that everything is possible if one trys. I tried alot of times but to no avails and eventually I gave up. I doubt I will want to hurt myself this time round. I like the song 'Amazed' by Lonestar esp. the last lyrics - Every little thing that you do I am so amazed by you... cOs I am feeling the same right now.

I used to fall seriously head over heels with Benz in secondary school who plays guitar well, draws, smart, athletic, sensitive, caring, sincere, nice and most of all an all-girls guys! This time round, I met another similar guy. I am helpless with the situation. Most girls will confess that they will only interested in good looking guys including myself but deep down inside me, I know the truth - that's only an illusion. In the end, I often fall for not so good looking but charming guys.

Today, he makes fun of me by asking me to show him my ID card because he said he saw it something weird on it. I didn't succumb to his trick though as I was too embarrassed to show him my primary school picture. Instead, I told him what was written on my card. My full name in Chinese - LSN. Then I realised his plot. He started to call me SN instead of my christian name all the day. It sounded pretty strange as not many people call me by SN these days. Yet I feel quite special as he is the only calling me SN. Suddenly it seems that there can be a slight possibility that he like me! I supposed it is only my one-sided wish. I never believe in crush unless one can prove me wrong.

He is a superb guy with a lazy character. Surprisingly, I never blamed him for his laziness in work. I think it was his charm which overcame me more. I have no idea if we will be together but I doubt it will be hard for me and him to progress because I will always retreat into my shell when opportunities strike. Let nature takes its course ...